Need your thoughts….

Okay – so I have a new story that’s in place. It’s nearly finished with the rough draft, but I can’t think of a good title! It will probably end up being a series. 

So I am giving you the prologue in raw form and want to hear from you on if this gives any ideas of what would be a captivating title for this suspenseful adventure series! 

She’s dead. 

The words haunt the very core of my being and yet even as I stand and watch the pale pink casket dip further into the ground, I refuse to believe there is any truth in those words. 

I vaguely feel my father’s fingers gently squeeze mine, but I don’t acknowledge him. The tears that I wish so badly to come and relieve some of my anguish stay dry as if to torment me even more so than I already was.

The minister spoke words that come through silent ears. My eyes are reserved for the casket that carries my mother’s body into the cold earth alone. Even the icy rain doesn’t deter me. There are no chills for there is no feeling left in me. My heart is heavy and there is no room for anything but the hurt I felt.

And hatred for the man who did this.

My mind slowly wanders to the events of the past few days. The one man I trusted above all else, aside from my father and brother, had brutally slain the one woman who was my solid rock in the world. For no reason that makes sense to me. 

The police said they had found Alexander standing over my mother’s body with the gun. She was so ridden full of bullets that we couldn’t even have an open casket. I couldn’t see her beautiful face one last time. Her full chestnut hair that cascaded down her back in gorgeous waves. How I wish I had inherited her beautiful hair instead of my father’s straight black strands.

How could he do this to our family? After so many nights of coming to our house for dinner, I thought he was something special. I thought we were…

A deep shaky breath rasps through my lungs. The rose I hold in my other hand, the one free of my father’s grip, is the exact shade as the casket. My mother’s favorite color. 

I twist the flower around until I found a thorn and dig it deep into my thumb. I feel it pierce the flesh and relief flows through me, a release. My tears won’t flow, but I found one way to relieve some of the pain. 

Alexander Hidgens. 

The name sent internal shudders through my body. Hatred sears through my veins like venom. 

My father whispers something in my ear and walks away, but I don’t hear what he says. My thoughts are distant and my eyes still pierce the casket. 

I want to see my mother. One last time. Why, oh why did he have to shoot her so horribly that we couldn’t even see her and say our goodbyes?

My heart aches. A searing burn that will never heal. 

I feel my brother kiss my cheek and squeeze my shoulder, but my feet stay grounded and my eyes focused. Suddenly, my eyes take on another focus, those of the face of the man that I will kill to avenge my mother’s death. He will beg as she had. He will hurt as she hurt and then my pain will be free. 

A thought hits me. Could I really kill another human being? Could I really hurt someone else? As I stare at the casket, thinking of the smile my mother would never give again, I had my answer. 

I most certainly could.

Hopefully this glimpse of another novel gets you intrigued and excited to read more and maybe even help give you some ideas for a great title for me!! 


3 thoughts on “Need your thoughts….

  1. Very well written….. intriguing! I’m trying to think of some title for it other than the common ” Unforgiven” or the like. So I’ll have to get back to you if I think of anything unique and original~~ keep up the good work!!! ☆


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